All the things you didn’t know were affected your libido, and how to deal with them

Your brain is the mastermind behind your sex drive, which makes your libido all the more susceptible to anything that affects your emotions, mind or body. Here’s why you might have lost your sex, and how you can get it back.

Understanding your sex drive

The term sex drive is used interchangeably with libido, and it’s something that’s doesn’t have any fixed units of measurement, or something that can be universally quantified or generalised. Your sex drive is more of a feeling rather than a status, and although this may be affected by other measurable factors, such as your testosterone levels, ultimately, it’s really only something you yourself can know and describe.

That’s why it’s important to be in tune with your libido and understand it better. A heightened sex drive is a greater desire for or interest in sex, while a lower one is the reverse. When it comes to men, desire and libido are largely a cerebral function (who would have thought!) and your brain is responsible for controlling not just your sex drive, but also your body’s response to it, by sending signals to different organs and areas Immediate Treatment Erectile Dysfunction.

If your sex drive lives in your brain, that means that it has the potential to be affected by literally anything that also affects your brain — ranging from stress and anxiety, to hormone levels, to illness, to alcohol, to communication and emotions. It only takes one thing to go wrong (or right) for your sex drive to lessen (or heighten!) in response.

There’s also a difference between desire and arousal. Desire can broadly be described as an appetite for or interest in sex, which is all those signals in your brain telling you that you want or crave sexual intimacy. Arousal, on the other hand, is the physical manifestation of sexual response, such as getting an erection or having an increased heart rate.

In men, desire and arousal often occur simultaneously, and to feel one is to also feel the other. That’s why having an erection can often lead to desire for sex itself. However, that’s not true for every single man or person, and arousal and desire can also be separate. This is why you may sometimes be aroused but not actually in the mood or interested in having sex, or why you might really want it but not be able to get it up.

Why has my sex drive lessened?

If you’re struggling with a low sex drive, it can manifest in many different ways. Perhaps you’ve noticed a decline in your libido from where it used to be, and you’re not sure why. Or maybe you’ve always had a lessened appetite for sex, and it’s increasingly impeding your ability to connect with your partner. Perhaps you’re worried that your desire for sex doesn’t match that of the person you’re having it with, or that it’s lessened in response to a certain event Premature Ejaculation Treatment In India.

It’s important to remember that there are so many things that can affect your sex drive, and all of them are perfectly normal. Physiologically, your low libido might be caused by lower levels of testosterone, which is an essential hormone for desire and arousal in men, by issues related to ageing, by chronic illness, by sleep problems, by excessive use of alcohol or drugs, or even by side effects of certain medications.

There are a whole range of issues that could be affecting your libido psychologically or emotionally, too. Stress, anxiety and depression are a common cause; sometimes, a low libido can also be a response to trauma. Don’t negate the effect that relationship issues or a lack of communication can have on your desire for sex, either. The context that you have sex in, low self esteem or negative body image, your interactions with the people around you and the person you’re having sex with, the setting of the sex and your thoughts around it are all important players in controlling your appetite.

It’s obvious, therefore, that when your libido is working for you as you want it to, it might seem like the easiest thing in the world. But when something’s getting in the way, it can suddenly seem very complex and not as easily solvable.

Dealing with low libido and barriers to desire

A low libido is only a problem if it’s a problem for you. Asexuality and a lack of sexual desire is absolutely normal, and more common than you think.

However, if your sex drive is low and don’t want to be, it’s absolutely not the end of the road. In order to deal with barriers to desire, you need to first identify what they are.

If your lowered libido seems to have appeared out of the blue, it’s a good idea to rule out any physical causes. Low testosterone can be a silent sapper of your sex drive, especially as you get older, and not getting enough sleep can lessen it even further. Certain medications can have the side effect of making it harder for you to not only desire sex, but also have it, as can a dependence on alcohol or drugs. If you think any of these factors could be affecting your sex drive, you should consult with your healthcare provider to find out about your T levels, side effects, or get help for addiction.

However, if your barriers to desire don’t fall into these categories, you’ll need to put in a little more effort to get rid of it. Don’t underestimate the impact that relationship problems or communication barriers can have on your sex life over a long period of time. Sex is as much about intimacy and connection as it is about pleasure, and if your connection is suffering outside the bedroom, chances are that that’s going to carry over to your sex as well. Pressure from other parts of your life, stress and anxiety, and your thought processes might be preventing you from finding the space of mind to even desire sex, especially in tougher times. A negative image of your own body, issues with self esteem, or anxiety over performance might stop you in your tracks before you’ve even reached the bedroom.

To dismantle these barriers, you need to focus on creating moments of peace for yourself, and being more honest and communicative with your partner. Talking to them about what’s stopping you, and indulging in moments of meditation, mindfulness and relaxation. Instead of being disheartened about not being in the mood, try experimenting with intimate and romantic touch throughout the day, so that the actual act of sex doesn’t have to carry all the weight of being the only intimate moments you share. Remove distractions such as your phone or laptop, and ease into the act, instead of jumping straight in. At the end of the day, sexual desire, pleasure and intimacy isn’t actually only about sex. It’s also about those in-between moments, that make it all the more better when you actually have it, and are vital to regaining your appreciation and desire for sex.